acting, appearing, presenting

Often used when someone is hiding their true identity. Avoid constructions such as “straight-acting” as this can imply that someone is being deceitful. Suggest constructions such as “closeted”, “not out to xxx yet”, etc.

AFAB, AMAB

Acronyms for “assigned female at birth” and “assigned male at birth”. Not used widely among the trans community any longer, some still may self-identify using these terms.

agender

Someone who does not define themselves as one particular gender. The term “genderless” is less commonly used. See also, Gender, non-binary.

ally

Someone who is supportive of LGBTQ+ people and their fight for equal rights.

androgynous

Partly male and partly female in appearance, where gender might be purposely indeterminate.

androphile, androphilic

A person, of any gender, who loves men, or who is sexually attracted to men.

aromantic

Experiencing little or no romantic attraction to others and/or has a lack of interest in romantic relationships/behaviour. Aromanticism exists on a continuum from people who experience no romantic attraction or have any desire for romantic activities, to those who experience low levels, or romantic attraction only under specific conditions. Many of these different places on the continuum have their own identity labels. Sometimes abbreviated to “aro” (pronounced like “arrow”).

asexual, ace

A person who has little to no sexual attraction to others. They can still have sex but it has little interest for them.

assignment

More commonly ‘re-assignment’, referring to medical intervention to align  someone’s gender with their deep intuitive sense of themselves.

associating gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people with paedophilia, child abuse, sexual abuse, bestiality, bigamy, polygamy, adultery and/or incest

Offensive. Avoid and highlight any constructions that could make this association.

bareback

The act of anal sex without the protection of a condom and usually to ejaculate inside the anal passage.

basket shopping

When cruising, in a bar or out and about, checking another guy’s bulge to see if it’s a) aesthetically pleasing, or b) sexually arousing.

batty boy

A derogatory West Indian slur for a gay man, from the Jamaican slang word ‘batty’ for buttocks.

bear

A hairy chested and bearded, heavy-set and often muscular man who projects a rugged ‘cliched’ image of masculinity. A dominant male often dressing in biker gear or lumberjack style clothing. Sub-cultures include: Muscle Bears, whose size comes from heavy working out and not body fat; Polar Bears, older bears with grey beards and body hair; Sugar Bears, effeminate bears.

bi-curious, bi curious, hyphen optional

People who show some interest or curiosity for sexual activity with a person of the same sex. It implies the person has no or limited homosexual experience and until they do, remain ‘curious’.

bi-erasure, hyphen

Meaning to ignore the existence or legitimacy of people who identify as bisexual.

biological sex, biologically male/female born a man/woman

Problematic phrases like those above are reductive and overly-simplify a very complex subject. As mentioned above, a person’s sex is determined by a number of factors – not simply genetics – and a person’s biology does not “trump” a person’s gender identity. Finally, people are born babies: they are not “born a man” or “born a woman.”

bisexual, bi No hyphen

A person who is sexually attracted to two or more genders. Historically, this has been applied to those who are “attracted to both male and female”, however, this can be seen as outdated.

biphobia No hyphen

Fear, hatred or dislike of bisexuality or bisexuals. May be harbored by lesbians, gays and transgender people as well as heterosexuals.

BJ

‘Blow Job’, stimulating the erect penis usually to ejaculation.

boi

A young man who prefers older male partners and usually fulfils a submissive role. It enables young men to differentiate themselves from ‘boy’, who might be seen as someone underage.

Also used in reference to a boyish lesbian.

bottom

The one being penetrated. Previously thought of as the passive or submissive partner but increasingly viewed now as equal. See Power Bottom

breeder

Someone who ejaculates inside another’s anal passage. To ‘breed’ is the verb.

Bubble butt

Refers to rounded, well-defined buttocks; smooth with underlying good muscle tone.

Cock ring 

The purpose of the cock ring is to maintain the rigidity of an erection by closing off the blood flow back from the penis. It does not stop ejaculation. Cock rings should not be worn for prolonged periods.

Chemsex

Drugs such as GHB, Ketamine, Mephedrone etc. that are taken to enhance sex, usually at sex parties.

Chubby-chaser

Someone who is sexually attracted to bigger/heavier guys.

cisgender, cisgendered, cis, cis man (cisman), cis woman (ciswoman) No hyphen

Someone who identifies with the same sex they were assigned at birth, i.e. not trans. Not to be confused with sexuality, this applies to gender. Cishet refers to someone who is cisgender heterosexual.

civil partnership

A legally recognised union between two people usually of the same sex which provides certain rights similar to marriage.

closet, closeted, in the closet

This can be used to explain people who  do not express their sexuality publically for many reasons. Someone being ‘in the closet’ implies them being a situation they would rather not be in. People can be closeted at different points within their life and can be closeted to different groups (e.g. at work). See also, coming out.

coming out

To come out (of the closet) is the phrase used to. Coming out is often inferred as being a one-off event, but in reality many LGBTQ+ people spend their entire lives ‘coming out’ to different groups, work colleagues, family and friends.

conversion therapy (sometimes called reparative therapy)

A practice that believes it is possible to change somebody’s sexual orientation because sexuality is a choice. In text, place within quotation marks, or similar, to identify this as an offensive term. See also, ex-gay. It is discredited and considered abusive practice rooted in false and often pseudoscientific religious beliefs. It is banned in the UK.

Cottage/cottaging

Originally English park toilets resembled little cottages hidden amongst the trees and bushes. Prior to this ‘vaults’ or public latrines were often places used by men looking for casual sex with other men. The term is now widely used for any public toilet where cottaging occurs.

couple

Do not assume a cisgendered, heterosexual couple is the default position.

Cream pie

In porn, when ejaculation happens inside the anus or vagina, the camera will zoom in to show the penis being withdrawn and semen seeping or being pushed out. This is known as a cream pie.

cross-dresser Hyphen

Traditionally men who wore female clothes were called transvestites. This is now seen as a derogatory term since it is sometimes misused to describe someone who is trans or transexual. Cross-dresser is therefore a better term today.

cruising

Hanging out in public places, i.e. toilets, saunas, woods or anywhere frequented by other men looking for casual, anonymous sex. These places might be well known among the LGBTQ+ community but often the general public can be completely unaware of what is going on.

Cub

A youthful version of a bear. Usually smaller framed and often the submissive partner in a bear relationship. A cub’s beard would usually be clipped short and his image more tailored and less rugged.

Cum-dump

In group sex scenarios, a ‘cum-dump’ or ‘cum-slut’ is the one taking multiple ejaculations from numerous other guys in his anus and bare-back.

daddy

The older man who is in a sexual relationship with a (usually) much younger man, or someone who is interested in younger men who prefer older men themselves. The relationship mimics that of the father-son dynamic, but it does not mean the daddy is a paedophile.

daisy-chain

A sex act involving several men either masturbating or sucking their closest partner’s penis and arranged in a circle involving any number of others.

deadnaming One word, no hyphen

The practise of using a name associated with someone prior to transition. Do not deadname unless you have been given explicit permission by the individual to do so. Do not allude to a “new name” or “now goes by”, or similar constructions.

deviant, disordered, dysfunctional, diseased, perverted, destructive and similar descriptions

[Definition to come]

dildo

A sex toy usually in the shape of an erect penis used by men to insert into the anus. They come in different sizes, colours and can vibrate or not.

DL

[Definition to come]

Dogging

Engaging in public sex, usually at remote beauty spot car parks. People can watch others having sex solo or in couples in their cars. There is an etiquette of various signals using sidelights and interior lights to indicate what the occupants are up to. Dogging is generally the preserve of heterosexuals and a version of gay cruising. 

drag

Dressing or acting in a style typically associated with another gender, typically through costume and/or performance. Not synonymous with transgender or cross-dressing.

dyke

Originally a pejorative term for a lesbian, it is now being reclaimed by some lesbians. Offensive when used as an epithet. Use only if self-referential or in a quotation if there is a compelling reason.

enby One word

See, non-binary

ex-gay Hyphen

See, conversion therapy

Facial

Ejaculating into the face and/or mouth of another.

fag, faggot, dyke, homo, sodomite and similar

Avoid. Originally offensive word for homosexual male, although some gay men now are reclaiming it. The word still is offensive when used as an epithet.

Felching

The sexual act of sucking one’s own semen out of the anus of a partner, or in a group situation, anyone else’s semen. The semen can then be passed to the mouth of the partner.

Fisting

The sex act involving inserting a hand into the rectum and thought to be the only sexual activity ‘invented’ in the twentieth century through its useage in porn. Fisting can be done solo or with a partner.

Fleshlight

Is the number one selling brand of sex toy for men as an aid to masturbation. First patented in 1998, the interior sleeve is not made from latex or silicone and the exact formulation is a closely guarded secret.

Freeballing

Like going ‘commando’, freeballing is going without underwear, but more often in a public and exhibitionist manner.

Friend of Dorothy

Quite an old fashioned term nowadays and derives from the ever popular Judy Garland film The Wizard of Oz. The film and Judy Garland are still huge icons of gay culture.

Frottage or Frot

Frottage is a non-penetrative sex act by rubbing the penis against another and very often fully clothed. It is often carried out in public on crowded transport and can involve unsuspecting members of the public. Frotteurism is particularly prevalent in Japan where it is known as ‘chikan’. Frot is the male-to-male rubbing of penises to ejaculate.

FtM

A person who was assigned a female sex at birth and whose gender identity is boy/man.

gay

A person who is sexually attracted to someone of the same gender. Although typically associated with male same-sex attraction, the word can be used to show any same-sex attraction. Do not use in constructions with negative connotations, e.g. “that’s so gay”, etc.

gay agenda

The political activism of promoting gay values, but can be viewed as a negative, self-promoting attitude where all the cards are not fully revealed.

gay lifestyle

There is no single LGBTQ lifestyle. LGBTQ people are diverse in the ways they lead their lives. The phrases “gay lifestyle,” “homosexual lifestyle,” and “transgender lifestyle” are used to denigrate LGBTQ people suggesting that their sexual orientation and/or gender identity (see Transgender Glossary of Terms) is a choice and therefore can and should be “cured” (see AP, Reuters, & New York Times Style). Use “LGBTQ people and their lives”.

gay marriage

In June 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Obergefell v. Hodges that every American has the constitutional right to marry the person they love. When reporting on marriage for same-sex couples, preferred terminology includes marriage equality and marriage for same-sex couples. Note, the terms “gay marriage” and “same-sex marriage” should be avoided, as they can suggest marriage for same-sex couples is somehow different than other marriages.

gender

Commonly confused with ‘sex’ or sexuality. Gender is the representation of someone’s identity. Frequently associated with masculine and feminine but there are more expressions of gender.

gender assigned at birth (GAAB), MAAB, FAAB

The gender a person is born as. This is referred to as gender assigned at birth because it is not and/or never was the person’s true gender – they were born as Z, but were assigned X/Y, due to bio-typical or closely matching genitalia of one of the pre-existing binary genders: male (MAAB) or female (FAAB).

gender binary

Recognises only two genders and regulates behavior within narrowly defined male or female expectations. Enforces the idea that all people assigned male at birth should be man-identified and masculine, and that all people assigned female at birth should be woman-identified and feminine. This system excluded non-binary and gender non-conforming individuals.

gender confirmation surgery (GCS); gender affirmation surgery (GAS)

Gender Affirmation Surgery: Surgical procedures that some trans folks pursue that create congruence between one’s body and one’s gender identity. These procedures may include “top surgery” (breast augmentation or removal) and “bottom surgery” (altering genitals). For female-to-male transsexuals, GAS involves a bilateral mastectomy (chest reconstruction), panhysterectomy (removal of the ovaries and uterus), and sometimes a phalloplasty (construction of a penis) and scrotoplasty (formation of a scrotum) or a metoidioplasty (restructuring the clitoris). For male-to-female transsexuals, GAS consists of optional surgical breast implants and vaginoplasty (construction of a vagina). Additional surgeries might include a trachea shave (reducing the size of the Adam’s apple), bone restructuring to feminize facial features, and hair transplants. Sometimes GAS is referred to as “gender confirming surgery” to recognize that one’s gender does not change—it is only being made visible to others. Historically, gender affirmation surgery has been referred to as sex reassignment surgery. Please do not use the term “sex change.” It is important to note that not all transgender people pursue gender affirmation surgeries, this can be due to cost, safety, or the fact that surgery is not a part of their gender journey.

gender dysphoria

In 2013, the American Psychiatric Association released the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) which replaced the outdated entry “Gender Identity Disorder” with Gender Dysphoria, and changed the criteria for diagnosis. The necessity of a psychiatric diagnosis remains controversial, as both psychiatric and medical authorities recommend individualized medical treatment through hormones and/or surgeries to treat gender dysphoria. Some transgender advocates believe the inclusion of Gender Dysphoria in the DSM is necessary in order to advocate for health insurance that covers the medically necessary treatment recommended for transgender people.

gender expression

External manifestations of gender, expressed through a person’s name, pronouns, clothing, haircut, behavior, voice, and/or body characteristics. Society identifies these cues as masculine and feminine, although what is considered masculine or feminine changes over time and varies by culture. Typically, transgender people seek to align their gender expression with their gender identity, rather than the sex they were assigned at birth.

gender fluid

People who have gender or genders that change.

gender identity

A person’s internal, deeply held sense of their gender. For transgender people, their own internal gender identity does not match the sex they were assigned at birth. Most people have a gender identity of man or woman (or boy or girl). For some people, their gender identity does not fit neatly into one of those two choices (see non-binary and/or genderqueer below.) Unlike gender expression (see below) gender identity is not visible to others.

gender identity disorder

Outdated, see gender dysphoria.

Gender neutral

As an example, non-specific gendered public toilets are ‘gender neutral’.

gender normative

Consider using cisgender or cis instead.

gender non-conforming

A term used to describe some people whose gender expression is different from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity. Please note that not all gender non-conforming people identify as transgender; nor are all transgender people gender non-conforming. Many people have gender expressions that are not entirely conventional – that fact alone does not make them transgender. Many transgender men and women have gender expressions that are conventionally masculine or feminine. Simply being transgender does not make someone gender non-conforming. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as gender non-conforming.

gender transition, transition

An individualised process by which trans people “switch” from one gender presentation to another. There are three general aspects to transitioning: social (i.e. name, pronouns, interactions, etc.), medical (i.e. hormones, surgery, etc.), and legal (i.e. gender marker and name change, etc.). A trans individual may transition in any combination, or none, of these aspects.

gender-bender

A derogatory term from the ‘70’s for a homosexual man, but can be aligned to someone who is actively distorting what it means to be either one gender or the other for political gains.

genderqueer

Terms used by some people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the categories of man and woman. They may define their gender as falling somewhere in between man and woman, or they may define it as wholly different from these terms. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as non-binary and/or genderqueer.

Glory hole

A hole in a dividing wall purposefully created for the act of sexual encounters, most popularly fashioned between public toilet cubicles. Glory holes or understall sex are perhaps the ultimate in anonymous sex. Gay saunas often mimic this with ready made glory holes.

hermaphrodite

Use intersex. A physical condition in which the individual is born with biological characteristics that are divergent from typical female and male. This may include variations in chromosomal, physical, gonadal, hormonal, or other attributes, and may include a combination, rearrangement, or lack of biological male or female features.

heteroflexible

Someone who considers themselves mostly straight, not bi, but who has and does have homosexual activity. See MSM, men who have sex with other men. 

heteronormative

Is the societal and cultural bias that considers heterosexuality to be the ‘norm’. For the majority of people it is, but it shouldn’t be to the exclusion of other gender and sexual minorities.

hetrosexism

Presumption that heterosexuality is universal and/or superior to homosexuality. Also, prejudice, bias or discrimination based on such presumptions.

heterosexual

Someone who is dominantly attracted to the opposite sex. 

HIV/AIDS, also Aids

[Definition to come]

hookup

A date usually arranged online with less emphasis or expectation associated with a proper ‘date’.

homo

A pejorative term for homosexual. Use only if self-referential or in a quotation if there is a compelling reason.

homoerotic

This is the aesthetic pleasure of admiring the same sex in art and usually refers to the male form. Female homoeroticism in art is much less prevalent. In terms of the difference between homoeroticism and homosexuality, homoeroticism denotes the desire itself, whatever the object might be and can be a temporary emotion or feeling. Homosexuality is an identity and implies a much deeper and permanent origin. 

homophobia

Fear of people attracted to the same sex. Intolerance, bias, or prejudice is usually a more accurate description of antipathy towards LGBTQ+ people. [Use “LGBTQ+ rights opponents” or a similar phrase instead of “homophobes” when describing people who oppose LGBTQ+-rights activism.

homoromantic

Someone who is attracted to someone of the same sex but not sexually attracted to them. For guys, this might be considered a ‘bromance’.

homosexual

If possible, avoid. Because of its connection to medical and psychological contexts (often when being gay was thought of as a ‘condition’), this is now seen as an outdated term by some. Because of the clinical history of the word ‘homosexual’, it is aggressively used by anti-LGBTQ extremists to suggest that people attracted to the same sex are somehow diseased or psychologically/emotionally disordered – notions discredited by the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association in the 1970s. Please avoid using “homosexual” except in direct quotes. Please also avoid using “homosexual” as a style variation simply to avoid repeated use of the word “gay.” The Associated Press, The New York Times and The Washington Post restrict use of the term (see AP, Reuters, & New York Times Style). Please use gay, lesbian, or when appropriate bisexual or queer to describe people attracted to members of the same sex.

homosexual couple, homosexual relations/relationships

Identifying a same-sex couple as “a homosexual couple,” characterizing their relationship as “a homosexual relationship,” or identifying their intimacy as “homosexual sex” is extremely offensive and should be avoided. These constructions are frequently used by anti-LGBTQ extremists to denigrate LGBTQ people, couples, and relationships. As a rule, try to avoid labeling an activity, emotion, or relationship gay, lesbian, bisexual, or queer unless you would call the same activity, emotion, or relationship “straight” if engaged in by someone of another orientation. In most cases, your readers, viewers, or listeners will be able to discern people’s sexes and/or orientations through the names of the parties involved, your depictions of their relationships, and your use of pronouns. Use “relationship,” “couple” (or, if necessary, “gay/lesbian/same-sex couple”), “sex,” etc.

initialisms

LGBTQ+, LGBT, LGBTQIA+

There are a number of different acronyms available. You should choose the one most inclusive for your organisation or context and keep this consistent across all texts.

intersex

An umbrella term describing people born with reproductive or sexual anatomy and/or a chromosome pattern that can’t be classified as typically male or female. Those variations are also sometimes referred to as Differences of Sex Development (DSD.) Avoid the outdated and derogatory term “hermaphrodite.” While some people can have an intersex condition and also identify as transgender, the two are separate and should not be conflated. (For more information, visit interactyouth.org.)

Jock

More usually an American expression which refers to a sports loving young man who thrives on keeping fit and healthy, looking good and preening.

lesbian

A woman who experiences attraction to another woman. Some use and prefer ‘gay woman’.

lifestyle

An inaccurate term and offensive term sometimes used to describe the lives of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people. Sexual orientation may be part of a broader lifestyle but is not one in and of itself, just as there is no “straight” lifestyle. Avoid.

Lingam

Is the abstract representation of the Hindu God Shiva and a symbol of the phallus. In Tantra, the Lingam massage centres on and celebrates the pure energy of the phallus and orgasm.

lube

Short for lubricant. Water based gels are the most widely used in aiding smoother sex.

metrosexual

A heterosexual man-about-town, in touch with his ‘feminine’ side. He looks after himself, uses skincare products, enjoys shopping, home design and caring for his children. 

microagressions

Actions that appear meaningless but which have a negative impact on the community and its members. Language can contain microagressions (e.g. using “he/she”) so watch for this in texts.

MLM

Initialism for men who love men.

MSM

Initialism for men who have sex with men. They might identify as heterosexual, but have no qualms about enjoying sex with other men. 

MtF

Initialism used to describe a person who was assigned a male sex at birth and whose gender identity is girl/woman (T stands for “to,” signifying transition).

Mx (point as required by style)

Pronounced ‘mix’ and is a gender-neutral title.

Muscle Mary

Or gym bunny. Guys who spend inordinate amounts of time in the gym or working out to get their bodies to look a certain aesthetic way. They do this not for health reasons but to improve their kudos. Muscle Mary’s are often more flamboyant.

neopronouns

A set of gender-neutral pronouns (singular, third-person) other than “they”/“their”, commonly used by people who identify as non-binary or gender nonconforming. Can be based around existing words, or can be newly created terms that are otherwise not used in standard language, such as “ze”/“zir”.

nonbinary, no hyphen

Someone who does not identify as being gendered male or female.

NSA

Initialism for “no strings attached”, i.e. casual non-obligatory sex.

NSF

On dating apps, NSF or non-scene fun, indicates someone who doesn’t hang out on the gay scene, often married, can be bisexual or in a relationship and is just looking for someone to “play” with.

NFSW

Initialism for “not suitable (or safe) for work”, used as a warning when sending (usually) pornographic material so that people do not open it at work or in other sensitive situations where other people might see and be offended.

openly gay/lesbian

As a modifier, openly is usually not relevant; its use should be restricted to instances in which the public awareness of an individual’s sexual orientation is germane. Examples: Harvey Milk was the first openly gay San Francisco supervisor. “Ellen” was the first sitcom to feature an openly lesbian lead character. Openly is preferred over acknowledged, avowed, admitted, confessed or practicing because of their negative connotations.
There is some discussion about whether this is now an outdated term.

opposite sex

Avoid using this term as it implies only two sexes. Instead, use a specific gender term or group.

Otter

A man described as an ‘otter’ is generally slim, less hairy than a bear and perceived to be more playful. His beard would be trimmed. He would be lean and naturally healthy and athletic.

Out

Abbreviation for ‘out of the closet’.

outing

the practice of exposing someone’s sexuality or gender identity without their consent.

pangender

Pangender is an identity comprised of many gender identities and expressions. A pangender person’s identity could be fixed, so that they feel that they are multiple genders at once. It could also be fluid, meaning that they move between genders. Pangender very often includes nonbinary genders. People who identify with only two genders, most commonly male and female, are generally considered to be bigender or genderqueer rather than pangender.

pan, pansexual

A person who is fluid in sexual orientation and/or gender identity. This is characterised by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love, or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.

parents

Use parents over ‘mother and father’, or similar constructions. Remember, family units are diverse and your language around family should reflect this. See also, couple.

Passing

When a transgender person is at a glance considered to be either a cis man or cis woman, whichever is appropriate.
While some transgender people may use these terms among themselves, it is not appropriate to repeat them in mainstream media unless it’s in a direct quote. The terms refer to a transgender person’s ability to go through daily life without others making an assumption that they are transgender. However, the terms themselves are problematic because “passing” implies “passing as something you’re not,” while “stealth” connotes deceit. When transgender people are living as their authentic selves, and are not perceived as transgender by others, that does not make them deceptive or misleading. Use “visibly transgender,” “not visibly transgender”.

PEP

Post-exposure prophylaxis. A medication taken after suspected exposure to HIV/AIDS.

pink triangle

Used by the Nazi party to denote LGBTQ+ people in concentration camps.

Poliari

British slang language, common among gay men in the 1960s.

polysexual, poly, polyamorous

Polyamory is a form of consensual non-monogamy in which participants may have multiple romantic attachments.

power bottom

Where traditionally the ‘bottom’ in any sexual encounter or relationship was seen as the passive or submissive partner (the one penetrated), the Power Bottom is in charge of how they enjoy their sex and will take the lead.

POZ

Someone identifying as HIV positive.

practising

Avoid this term to describe someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity. Use “sexually active” as a modifier in circumstances when public awareness of an individual’s behavior is germane.

PrEP

Pre-exposure prophylaxis. A medication taken prior to exposure to HIV/AIDS.

pride (l.c.)

Verb; to act with pride.

Pride (u.c.)

With capital. Pride Parades, Pride month, Pride celebrations: organised events to highlight the LGBTQ+ community. It is important to note that Pride Parades were political marches before the more celebratory tone found today.

pronouns

Use the pronouns that people choose to use. Do not make jokes in reference to this (“I identify as …”, etc.).

Singular “they/them” is perfectly acceptable.

QTIPOC

Initialism for ‘queer, trans and intersex people of colour’.

queer

This term has been re-owned by many in the LGBTQ+ community in a positive and empowering stance to define themselves and the diversity of the human experience, but it still triggers memories for many who have suffered bullying as a result of this word being used in aggressive and dangerous attacks. Originally it was used to describe any abnormality of the mind perceived as a weakness or odd, or worse, to be “less than human”. 

queerphobia, queerphobic

A fear or hatred of queer people.

questioning

Process of exploring sexual orientation or gender identity.

queen

Originally a pejorative term for an effeminate gay man, but sometimes used acceptably as slang among LGBT people. It sometimes describes a shared interest or disposition, for example: soccer queens, opera queens. Queen is offensive when used as an epithet; best used only in quotations or for formal names of organizations or events.

rainbow flag

Common rainbow flag, representing Pride, has six colours: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple. Other flags exist for other identities.

Rimming

The sexual act of licking, kissing, sucking and inserting the tongue into a partner’s anus.

safe sex

[Definition to come]

scat

Or coprophilia, also called scatophilia, is the sexual arousal and pleasure gained from the feel, sight and even smell of faeces. While rare, it is a fetish that is not exclusive to either homosexuals or heterosexuals.

sex

A person’s sex is assigned at birth and relates to the genitalia.

sex change

Referring to a “sex-change operation,” or using terms such as “pre-operative” or “post-operative,” inaccurately suggests that a person must have surgery in order to transition. Avoid overemphasizing surgery when discussing transgender people or the process of transition. Use transition.

Sex positive

Someone whose attitude is that of free sexual expression and pleasure, as long as it’s healthy and consensual.

Sexual Offences Act (1967)

Following the Wolfenden Report (1957), the Act that brought about the decriminalisation of homosexual acts between consinting adult men over the age of 21 and in the privacy of their own homes.

Sexual Offences (Amendment) Act (2000)

After the Criminal and Justice Public Order Act (1994) which saw the legal age of consent for male homosexuality lowered to 18, in 2000 in the Sexual Offences (Amendment) Act, the age of consent was lowered to 16 in line with that of females.

Sexual Offences Act (2003)

Changes to the Act made sexual offences unlawful regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. 

sexual orientation

Preferred term over sexual preference.

sexual preference

Do not use. Use “sexual orientation” instead. This term can perpetuate the understanding that sexual orientation is a choice.

sexual reassignment surgury

Sexual Reasignment Surgery (SRS)Also called Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS). Refers to doctor-supervised surgical interventions, and is only one small part of transition (see transition above). Avoid the phrase “sex change operation.” Do not refer to someone as being “pre-op” or “post-op.” Not all transgender people choose to, or can afford to, undergo medical surgeries. Journalists should avoid overemphasizing the role of surgeries in the transition process.glaad.org

shooting ropes

Excessive ejaculation that literally looks like ropes of semen. This is not the norm and only reached by few men, often after long periods of abstinence.

side

A gay man who does not partake in anal intercourse either as a top or bottom.

smooth

A man who removes all his body hair (not head).

snowballing

Is the sexual act of taking someone’s semen into the mouth and passing it back to their mouth or to someone else’s. 

sodomy, sodomite

From the biblical story of Sodom and Gomorrah and later used in laws prohibiting homosexual (in particular, male) sex acts. Avoid use of this word.

spit-roast

The sexual position involving three, where the one in the middle gives oral sex while at the same time is penetrated from behind.

SSA

Initialism for “same sex attraction”.

STI

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) were formerly known as sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). The new name is intended to emphasize that anyone can be infected with an STI even without showing symptoms of disease. STIs can be transmitted through vaginal, anal and oral sex, as well as other intimate skin-to-skin contact.

Stonewall

Can refer to the 1969 protests in New York or the LGBTQ+ advocacy charity. Ensure that this is clear in texts.

straight

Someone who identifies as heterosexual. Do not use “normal” to describe someone in a heterosexual relationship.

sub

Referring to a submissive partner.

TERF

Acronym for ‘trans exclusionary radical feminism’. Meaning feminists who are transphobic.

Thicc

Slang for someone who has a full figure, especially thick thighs and large bottom.

Top

Refers to the one who penetrates, but can also infer dominance in the relationship, but this need not be the case.

transgender, trans

An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from what is typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. People under the transgender umbrella may describe themselves using one or more of a wide variety of terms – including transgender. Some of those terms are defined below. Use the descriptive term preferred by the person. Many transgender people are prescribed hormones by their doctors to bring their bodies into alignment with their gender identity. Some undergo surgery as well. But not all transgender people can or will take those steps, and a transgender identity is not dependent upon physical appearance or medical procedures.
Transgender should be used as an adjective, not as a noun. Do not say, “Tony is a transgender,” or “The parade included many transgenders.” Use “transgender people,” “a transgender person” For example, “Tony is a transgender man,” or “The parade included many transgender people.”

transgenderism

This is not a term commonly used by transgender people. This is a term used by anti-transgender activists to dehumanize transgender people and reduce who they are to “a condition.” “being transgender.” Refer to being transgender instead, or refer to thetransgendercommunity. You can also refer to the movement for transgender equality and acceptance.

transgender man/boy

People who were assigned female at birth but identify and live as a man may use this term to describe themselves. They may shorten it to trans man. (Note: trans man, not “transman.”) Some may also use FTM, an abbreviation for female-to-male. Some may prefer to simply be called men, without any modifier. It is best to ask which term a person prefers

transgender woman/girl

People who were assigned male at birth but identify and live as a woman may use this term to describe themselves. They may shorten it to trans woman. (Note: trans woman, not “transwoman.”) Some may also use MTF, an abbreviation for male-to-female. Some may prefer to simply be called female, without any modifier. It is best to ask which term a person prefers.

transgendered

The adjective transgender should never have an extraneous “-ed” tacked onto the end. An “-ed” suffix adds unnecessary length to the word and can cause tense confusion and grammatical errors. It also brings transgender into alignment with lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer. You would not say that Elton John is “gayed” or Ellen DeGeneres is “lesbianed,” therefore you would not say Chaz Bono is “transgendered.” Use transgender (noun).

transition

Altering one’s birth sex is not a one-step procedure; it is a complex process that occurs over a long period of time. Transition can include some or all of the following personal, medical, and legal steps: telling one’s family, friends, and co-workers; using a different name and new pronouns; dressing differently; changing one’s name and/or sex on legal documents; hormone therapy; and possibly (though not always) one or more types of surgery. The exact steps involved in transition vary from person to person. Avoid the phrase “sex change.”

transphobia

Irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against transgender people

transsexual

An older term that originated in the medical and psychological communities. Still preferred by some people who have permanently changed – or seek to change – their bodies through medical interventions, including but not limited to hormones and/or surgeries. Unlike transgender, transsexual is not an umbrella term. Many transgender people do not identify as transsexual and prefer the word transgender. It is best to ask which term a person prefers. If preferred, use as an adjective: transsexual woman or transsexual man.

transvestite

1) A person who wears clothes designed for the opposite sex 2) A cross-dresser trans·ves·tism or less commonly trans·ves·tit·ism (noun) transvestite (adjective). First Known Use: 1911

Tucking

This is a way of concealing the penis and testes by pushing and taping them back, a method used by drag queens. Another alternative is extremely tight underwear known as tucking panties that press and push everything down and away. For a totally smooth look, after pushing the testes back inside the body cavity, medical tape is then used to stick the penis and scrotum back between the legs.

Twink

A term used to describe gay young men in their late teens or early twenties. They have little or no body hair, are slim and are often attributed with having ‘beautiful packaging but little on the inside.’

two spirit

Two-Spirit is an umbrella term that includes gay, lesbian, bisexual, and trans/gender non-conforming identities and is what the “2S” stands for in LGBTQ2S. The term was intertribally adopted in Winnipeg during a gathering in the early 1990’s. Traditionally, people who were Two-Spirit were thought as being “born in balance” and held specific roles within their communities. The term is an act of resistance against settler colonial forms of sex/gender, meaning that only Indigenous people can identify as being Two-Spirit.

vampire

A gay man who goes out cruising late at night.

vanilla

Is plain and conventional sex and generally applies to anyone who is not willing or interested in exploring or experimenting in any sexual practise other than ‘the norm’. Applies to both heterosexual and homosexual sex.

vegetarian

A gay man who does not like giving oral.

WLW

Initialism for women who love women.

wolf

A slimmer version of a bear combining sexual assertiveness with a hunter instinct. They would be semi-hairy, lean, muscular, attractive and have facial hair. Older ‘wolves’ would be coined ‘silver’ or ‘grey’ wolves, with connotations that they are free-spirited, wild and slightly dangerous.  

WSW

Initialism for women who have sex with women.